so i say nothing

there are moments when i don't know what to say.

we all experience such moments.

some of these moments are filled with intense joy, such as the birth of a child or the partial / full realization of one's hopes and dreams.

some of these moments are filled with insatiable pain and longing, such as the loss of a loved one, or the perpetual shattering of one's hopes and dreams.

then there are moments that are far less extraordinary.

there are moments that aren't captured in photographs, or documented through social media, or even remembered at all.

there are moments that we keep to ourselves.

moments that we hold so close to our hearts, we feel as though we might forget to breath if we ever let go of them.

moments that are as poignant as any we might ever face or experience, yet we often have no idea that we're even living inside of them.

there are moments when the crippling shackles of depression have become so real for a person that their only solace is to just shut their eyes, where, if only for one brief moment, nothing is in motion.

there are moments when the carefree exuberance of youth is once again glimpsed by a soul too worn to ever imagine feeling so alive again.

there are moments when nostalgia has long since ceased to be an old friend who visits when the sun is shining at just the right angle, and has instead become a sorrowful reminder of one's own wearisome morality.

there are moments when true love feels anything but.

when a couple must fight each other if they're to speak at all.

when naïve giddiness has become maddening annoyance.

moments when the tears of heartbreak have begun to flavor a person's first cup of coffee in the morning.

moments when coffee becomes a lover, and a lover becomes nothing more than another deep breath.

moments when true loves feels like every ounce of death that the world has ever known.

there are moments when the time-honored, cherished stories of one's youth become bewilderingly oppressive.

there are moments when the 'right now' sells its soul to 'the beginning and the end'.

there are moments when living feels like dying, and dying feels like hell.

and yet, we live.

life moves on, and we continue to move with it.

riding the waves of this life as the hectic, booming current brings us closer to the next chapter of our journey.

all of the smiles, the tears, the fault, and the years tear us apart, and put us back together.

every single day.

there are moments when i don't know what to say.

moments when tears and clenched teeth have become the only language that i can speak.

there is life in these moments.

there is more life in these moments than i could ever know outside of them.

painful glimpses of life.

heart-wrenching glimpses of who i have been, and who i want to become.

most painful of all, who i have become.

there are moments when i don't know what to say.

so i say nothing.